My eyes burned.
"But I also think he was a coward when it came to you."
I looked at him.
For the first time, I didn't see an intruder.
I saw another person who had been forced to carry Thomas's secrets.
***
When I finally left the office, it was raining.
Nathan offered to drive me home.
I refused.
I needed to be alone.
The twenty-minute drive took nearly forty because I kept pulling over to cry.
At one traffic light, I remembered our tenth anniversary.
Thomas had surprised me with a weekend at a mountain cabin.
We had sat beside a fireplace while snow fell outside.
He had held me close and whispered, "There's nothing in this world I wouldn't tell you."
I pulled into a parking lot and sobbed until my chest hurt.
Because I still loved him.
That was the worst part.
Even after discovering the secret, I wanted to go home and ask him why.