The Quiet Promise Sister Esperanza Could No Longer Remember

“Elena.”

“She was crying.”

“Yes.”

“But she was not asking me for a baby.”

“No.”

“She said…” Esperanza struggled, then opened her eyes. “She said she had spent too many years wanting a sister to risk losing one over a child.”

Doctor Paloma’s face filled with relief.

“That is what she said.”

Mother Caridad looked from one woman to the other.

“Then how did Esperanza become pregnant?”

Paloma closed the notebook.

“That is what I do not fully understand.”

The three women remained in the infirmary for nearly an hour.

Doctor Paloma explained that the first medical procedure had taken place with Esperanza’s written consent, witnessed by Mother Inés and an independent physician from the city. Because of Esperanza’s illness and later distress, the documents had been sealed. No further attempt was supposed to occur without her renewed agreement.

Yet three years later, Esperanza had become pregnant with Tomás.

Tests performed after his birth suggested he was related to Esperanza.

But Paloma had never been allowed to complete further testing.

“Allowed by whom?” Mother Caridad asked.

“Mother Inés was already dead. The diocesan administrator advised discretion.”

“Discretion is not an answer.”

“No,” Paloma said. “It is often the place where answers are buried.”

Miguel began to fuss in the corridor.

Esperanza opened the door, and Sister Lucía brought him in.

The baby settled as soon as Esperanza held him.

Mother Caridad watched her.

“Do you still believe these children were sent to you as miracles?”

Esperanza ran one finger along Miguel’s cheek.

“I believe every child can be received as a gift,” she said. “But perhaps I used the word miracle because I was afraid to ask what had been taken from my memory.”

Doctor Paloma looked stricken.

“Nothing was taken deliberately.”

Esperanza lifted her gaze.

“Then why can I not remember?”

“You were ill. You were given sedatives during treatment. Later, you suffered episodes of confusion.”

“Three years later?”

“No.”

The doctor’s answer was too quick.

Mother Caridad heard it.

“So there were no sedatives before Tomás was conceived?”

Paloma looked toward the window.

“I did not administer any.”

The distinction was unmistakable.

Mother Caridad’s voice became very quiet.

“Who did?”

“I do not know.”

Esperanza held Miguel closer, not from fear for him, but as if the steady warmth of his body helped keep her grounded.

“Was Doctor Paloma present when I became pregnant with Tomás?”

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