His mouth trembled.
"I can be that man again."
I shook my head.
"That man only appeared when I was doing what you wanted."
He reached across the table.
I moved my hands into my lap.
His fingers stopped halfway.
"Please," he whispered.
For one terrible second, I wanted to reach back.
I wanted the familiar warmth.
The easy laughter.
The future I'd imagined.
Then I remembered myself standing in the restaurant, soaked in wine, while his mother smiled.
And I understood that missing someone wasn't a reason to return to them.
"I want a divorce," I said.
Javier closed his eyes.
A tear slipped down his cheek.
I felt the old instinct to comfort him.
But I stayed seated.
When the meeting ended, I walked outside with Isabel.
My hands were shaking.
She noticed.
"Are you all right?"
I took a slow breath.
"No."
Then I looked toward the bright Madrid sky.
