A strange uneasiness passed through her.
She remembered waking there once.
Or believed she remembered it.
There had been a lamp above her. A cold cloth on her forehead. Someone saying, “You are safe.”
But when had that happened?
During her first pregnancy?
Her second?
Before either of them?
The memory dissolved whenever she tried to hold it.
“Esperanza?” Lucía asked.
She blinked.
“Yes?”
“You went somewhere far away.”
“I was only thinking.”
“About what?”
“I do not know.”
Lucía leaned closer.
“That is a troubling answer.”
Esperanza looked down at Miguel. The child’s eyes had opened, dark and trusting.
“There are pieces missing,” she said quietly.
“Pieces of what?”
“My memory.”
Lucía’s hand stopped beside the bread plate.
“What do you mean?”
Esperanza searched for words.
“There are mornings when I wake and feel as though I have forgotten a dream. Not an ordinary dream. Something important. I can almost see a room, or hear a voice, but then it vanishes.”
“Has this happened recently?”
“It has happened for years.”
“Why have you never told anyone?”
Esperanza gave a small, embarrassed shrug.
“I thought it was exhaustion. Then Tomás was born. Then Miguel. There was always something more urgent.”
Lucía’s expression softened, but concern remained in her eyes.
“You should tell Mother Caridad.”
“She already doubts me.”
“She does not doubt you.”
Esperanza looked toward the doorway again.
“She doubts the story I am able to give her.”
“That is not the same thing.”
“No,” Esperanza said. “But it feels the same when you are the person without answers.”
Tomás pushed his wooden spoon toward her.
“Horse for Mama.”
Esperanza accepted it and smiled.
“Thank you.”
He leaned against her arm, satisfied.
Whatever else remained uncertain, these children were real. Their laughter, their hunger, their warm hands, their sleepy weight against her shoulder—none of that could be questioned.
Yet for the first time, Esperanza wondered whether loving them had made her too willing not to ask how they had come to be.
Doctor Paloma arrived before ten.
Her gray motorcar stopped just beyond the convent gate, and Sister Beatriz hurried to admit her. The doctor stepped inside carrying a black medical case, her hair pinned beneath a simple hat.
Mother Caridad waited in the entry hall.
“You came quickly.”
“You sounded worried.”
“I am worried.”
Paloma removed her gloves.
